Dancing in the Dark

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I am no dancer. When I was eight I begged my parents to let me have ballet lessons like my younger sister. She was graceful and elegant and artistic. I was not. A year later my parents bribed me to stop ballet, offering me violin lessons instead. I must have been truly dreadful for them … Continue reading Dancing in the Dark

Welcome to My World

When I posted my poem last week about grieving as things are lost and life changes dramatically, a friend wrote: ‘You must be thinking, “Welcome to my world”’. Well yes… and also no (but we’ll leave the ‘no’ for now). These next weeks will be a big change in lifestyle for many who find themselves … Continue reading Welcome to My World

It is ok to grieve

For those facing two weeks in isolation, or twelve weeks mostly stuck at home, or a lifetime of chronic illness...***** It is ok to grieve It is ok to grieve,to mourn the small things and the large: to shed your tears for cancelled plans and missed events, as well as jobs, or people, lost; for … Continue reading It is ok to grieve

Writing a Lent Course

Apologies for the long silence. I have been writing a Lent course... I set my timer for 30 minutes, knowing that this is my limit for sitting up, looking at a screen, writing - aided by a neck brace and blue-light-filtering glasses - without repercussions which will prevent me doing anything else for the rest … Continue reading Writing a Lent Course

I Told You My Neck Hurt!

This is the equivalent of what The Guardian calls ‘The Long Read’. Apologies!  I never intended to write a medical blog but so many people had so many questions about my recent diagnoses and how they came about that it seemed easiest to answer them all together in a narrative which makes some kind of … Continue reading I Told You My Neck Hurt!

Falling (I cannot go on)

Trigger warning: suicide This post is a description of past events and does not, in any way, describe my feelings at the time of writing or posting it. ****** Some days I think maybe I’ve got this living with chronic illness thing sorted. Other days, really not. Usually I have a good cry, pick myself … Continue reading Falling (I cannot go on)

Sex, Whales, and a French Psychiatrist

1989 I am in a small town in Alsace for my year abroad. I started the year determined, once again, to ignore my symptoms and ‘act normal’ as advised by my dismissive college GP, hoping that this time – four years since I first got ill and still with no idea what is going on … Continue reading Sex, Whales, and a French Psychiatrist