Dancing in the Dark


I am no dancer. When I was eight I begged my parents to let me have ballet lessons like my younger sister. She was graceful and elegant and artistic. I was not. A year later my parents bribed me to stop ballet, offering me violin lessons instead. I must have been truly dreadful for them … Continue reading Dancing in the Dark


I Told You My Neck Hurt!

This is the equivalent of what The Guardian calls ‘The Long Read’. Apologies!  I never intended to write a medical blog but so many people had so many questions about my recent diagnoses and how they came about that it seemed easiest to answer them all together in a narrative which makes some kind of … Continue reading I Told You My Neck Hurt!

Falling (I cannot go on)

Trigger warning: suicide This post is a description of past events and does not, in any way, describe my feelings at the time of writing or posting it. ****** Some days I think maybe I’ve got this living with chronic illness thing sorted. Other days, really not. Usually I have a good cry, pick myself … Continue reading Falling (I cannot go on)

Sex, Whales, and a French Psychiatrist

1989 I am in a small town in Alsace for my year abroad. I started the year determined, once again, to ignore my symptoms and ‘act normal’ as advised by my dismissive college GP, hoping that this time – four years since I first got ill and still with no idea what is going on … Continue reading Sex, Whales, and a French Psychiatrist

Healing (?) Prayer

This isn’t the post I was expecting to write. I’d started a different one and stalled. Then yesterday I read this very interesting article about disability theology and I immediately felt compelled to write about my own unhelpful experiences of healing prayer (there have also been many good ones). I fear it is maybe more … Continue reading Healing (?) Prayer