Sometimes

Sometimes,

in my dreams,

I can climb mountains,

go walking,

see those near, yet distant places,

I hear about from friends

of which I can only dream.

*

Sometimes,

in my dreams,

I go to a supermarket

and dance down the aisles

with joy

that I can choose for myself

what food I would like to eat.

*

Sometimes,

in my dreams,

I fly to Australia

to visit my only aunt and godmother.

*

Sometimes,

in my dreams,

I have chosen the place where I live,

and have a job, and a mortgage, and a home that I own,

where I do not need the help of others

just to survive.

*

Sometimes,

in my dreams,

I meet the children I never had

and wake with tears in my eyes.

*

Sometimes,

in my dreams,

I play my violin

in orchestras, and quartets,

or with my Dad.

I play the piano for hours,

and sing in the Christmas choir.

*

Sometimes, 

in my dreams,

I can walk to the postbox to post a letter

whenever I want,

or climb a flight of stairs

without wondering if I will reach the top.

*

Sometimes,

in my dreams,

I go out for a day,

or a night,

or a whole weekend away.

*

Sometimes, 

in my dreams,

I go to concerts, theatres, cinemas, museums, restaurants…

to parties, weddings, and funerals.

and do not pay a heavy price.

*

Sometimes,

in my dreams,

I get in my car

and drive the length of England to visit family and friends.

*

Sometimes,

in my dreams,

I can walk, and run, and ride a bike, 

skip, and dance, and sing,

and do it all again the following day.

*

Sometimes,

in my dreams,

I collapse on the floor, 

exhausted and in pain,

unable to go on.

And people shout at me, accusingly:

‘Get up!’, ‘Try harder!’,

‘There’s nothing really wrong!’,

‘You are at fault!’

*

But no matter how hard I try,

my body will not obey.

And, when I wake up,

only this final dream is true.

Alison Whale, for ME Awareness Day, May 12^th 2020

#MEAwarenessDay2020 #MillionsMissing